You are young, and life is long, and there is time to kill today;
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun
And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it’s sinking
And racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in the relative way, but you’re older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death

Michael found an article about how feminism has ruined the American family, fathers and children. I read the article. I read the comments at FP, and was going to leave a comment but decided….NO…this subject deserves it’s own post. I think I’m gonna get some shit for this too.

I’m not a feminist. I never have been and never will be. In my life I have seen a lot and it amazes me how people cannot see themselves for who they really are. Through our actions we define this, more than our words. While we like to think one thing, the reality is without certain historical events that have occurred we would not have been able to enjoy some of the things in our lives.

There are 2 types of feminists:
1) The raging, in-your-face, die hard, “I don’t need no man” blow hards. These women have a chip on their shoulders. They tend to blame men for all their problems and are generally very unhappy with the way life has turned out for them. They would be a part of the 60’s flower power generation. They are the original feminists who really hated men; who really pushed for women to strike out on their own and drop men from their lives.

2) The modern day feminist who doesn’t realize she is one. These women claim to NOT be feminist; yet they also give credit to the “Movement” for allowing them to chose which path they will take in regards to marriage, having children, holding down a career. They usually make the choice to put off the marriages and family. Career comes first. These women want their cake and the icing too, just on their terms. Men don’t have too much say in this.

There are 2 types of men as well, who fall into the feminist world.
1) Those who really despise the “Movement”, who find vulgar the thought of women having any rights; those who want women to stay at home, barefoot and pregnant. These men are usually those who ike to maintain total control of the women in their lives-be that physical, emotional or financial.

2) Men who claim they don’t like the way the “Movement” has deprived them of respect. Those who want to see Fathers Rights; those who want to find women who want to have a family, but only after they too have made a career for themselves, sowed the wild oats of a very prolonged youth and lived a good portion of their life doing what they want to do, committment free. They want their cake and icing too.

The fact is, in today’s world, both men and women are responsible for their own actions. It has nothing to do with feminism anymore.

Women are taught from an early age to get a good education and job; to be self sufficient and independent. To always be able to take care of herself without the help of a partner. They get high profile jobs and consider themselves entitled to all they work for. This is a direct result of this “movement”. Having a family isn’t high on the list of priorities.

Men, on the other hand, reep the rewards of the “movement” in many ways. They have experienced the freedom of having available to them, women who are not interested in marriage and children. They have been able to play the dating game and move along in their career without the consideration of a family. And the word family usually has a negative sound to it…

Both men and women have this “thing” about being competitive and driven. Life becomes one big competition-at work especially. This distracts them from what is really important in life, I say. These yuppies-getting-older will allow their jobs to run their lives to the point they no longer have a LIFE. While it’s great to make lots of money and have all the toys of modern society, these people never have a chance to form real friendships and relationships. They can’t settle down long enough for that to happen. They skip and hop from one job to the next, moving up each time…making more money with each move.

Until…
One day they wake up and realize their biological clocks are ticking….(Hey, they’ve been ticking for years.) It’s not just women who have this, men do as well. After age 35, both sexes run a real risk of having children born with birth defects…after age 40, that risk increases ten fold every year for both.

Being a parent is hard work- harder than any job could ever be. One has to be able to keep up with their kids, physically and emotionally. When you’re a couple generations older than the kids, you stand a very high risk of having absolutely nothing in common with them. While it’s important to have a good grip on life before starting a family, it’s worthwhile to consider this- the intent is not to offend anyone, but to think:

Having childen at such an older age can have it’s drawbacks. Who wants to be running around chasing toddlers at age 45? What teenager wants a parent to be in their fifties? Who wants to be 60 years old when their kid graduates from highschool? And, who wants to not be around to enjoy their kids after they have grown up? Who doesn’t want to see their grandchildren?

No one thinks about this when they should.

I had my kids when I was pretty young. It was tough. I was alone and for most of that time, except for my friends.
Being a parent means making some sacrifices…but it’s worth it. No amount of money can bring the happiness and feelings of accomplishment that motherhood – parenthood- can give:
The experience of it was worth every exhausting moment; worth every minute I spent staying up at night rocking the babies to sleep…worth every rushed morning getting them ready for school; worth every crazy dinner meal before the big school play…worth every endless hour of helping them with homework and school projects; worth every trip to the ER after some trip or a fall off the bike. Worth every minute of all the times we were just being…a family. Doing the things families do.

My kids are pretty much grown up; and I’m young enough (40) and fortunate enough to have many more years with them. I feel bad for women who are my age and older, who haven’t had children yet. While they ponder whether to have kids at all, I wait with the happiness of knowing I’ll probably have grandkids before too much longer. I have a lot in common with my kids too- we wear the same clothes and like the same music and go to concerts together. I can keep up with them during hikes and other physical activity (heck, I can run circles around them LOL). They appreciate that I know their “language” and understand their problems and issues…the gap between me and them is pretty small.

I tell my daughters that having children is the single most important thing they will ever do. It is by far the most fulfilling accomplishment they will ever endeavor. They know…the career could care less about them. That the “family” at work will forget about them -no matter how much they contribute to the place- within a couple weeks of leaving (to move onward to yet another job…) They also know that the family, the kids, will never forget.
They will always be there for you.

We all make choices in our lives. It’s all about what we percieve to be important. The feminist movement doesn’t like to talk about these choices. Someone has to share some wisdom.