And Rightly So!

GM Roper of GM’s Corner is
fighting cancer. A group of bloggers silently known as
the South Park Republicans have joined GM in his
fight. to raise money in order to fight
cancer. Over the next few weeks, the Liberal Church
will be travelling from blog to blog and all donations
made will go to aid St. Jude in their fight against
cancer. If you would like to donate by snail mail, St.
Jude makes it available to do that. Cancer can be a
very costly battle and your help is greatly
appreciated. Please add a “Fight On” ribbon to your
blog. Donations can be made by clicking on St. Jude’s
while the plate is passed. Find the participants of
“Fight On”. >South Park Republicans

First Church of
Democrats

Worship songs play -
“I Trust Democrats With All My Heart” - Choir
“Fighting the Reagan’s Evil Spirit” -
Choir
http://southparkrepublicans.mu.nu/
First Church of Democrats
“We’ll Take Care of You” - Dixie Chicks

Welcome to the Liberal church! My name is Peter
Peaceful, and we have a very special announcement
today. We are going to have bible study. I am the
principle, but before that, I lived in Cuba working to
cure mental disorders with electroshock therapy. I
specialized in curing the mental disease known as
‘Americanism’. Let me introduce you to a couple of our
teachers, Harry Hornier and Wanda Wombyn. You’ll learn
more about them in the coming weeks. Today I will give
the sermon.

In other announcements, our missionaries in
Afghanistan and Iraq have successfully committed 4,381
acts of protest against Bush’s Islamic Holocaust. It
was a slow week as only 41 more successful protests
this week! Please keep the insurgents in your prayers
and please donate when the plate is passed around.

The “Iraqinam Sixties Protest” is visiting Raven of
‘And Rightly So’ up here in New England. Ahh, New
England, home to John Kerry and Ted Kennedy. Let’s
take a quick trip down memory lane, shall we? Lt. John
Kerry ordered his men to commit war crimes, then came
back to the United States and complained about
committing them, then tried to broker a deal in North
Vietnam with protestors of American imperialism. John
Kerry - Hero.

And Senator Ted Kennedy was on the brink of changing
the way we travelled. He drove a car into a lake.
Unfortunately, his test drive ended the life of a
young girl who hid in his car unbeknownst to Senator
Kennedy. Had she not hid in the car, she would still
be alive today and Kennedy would have altered
transportation forever. Ted Kennedy - Scientist.

We also have two new deacons being inducted to our
church this week, and a perfect week to inducted them
since we are announcing our bible study classes. Jay
Bennish and Joseph Kyle have qualified as deacons this
past week. Jay
Bennish let his class know that Bush is similiar
to Hitler among many other things. He also told the
students that Al Qaida selected its 9-11 targets in a
military way. That’s courage! Way to go Deacon
Bennish! Joseph
Kyle led a war crimes trial against Bush. This is
a remarkable feat considering that so many people have
been trying to get Bush on trial, deacon Kyle
accomplished it. We all know the end verdict-
G-U-I-L-T-Y! Please give the a round of applause.

Wow, a standing ovation! Our final announcement is
that there has been a change in our prayer. Apparently
some of you have been selfish and uncaring with money.
You let the evil Republican greed keep your hand out
of your wallet when the plate gets passed around. To
break the evil Reagan spirit floating around our
church, we’ve changed it from ‘make a payment’ to
‘make a tax payment’ in hopes of raising even more
money.

Let us bow our head and make a tax payment. Oh Holy
Spirit Che Guevara, give us the strength to give.
Chase the evil spirit Ronald Reagan far away from
these lands! OHoly Spirit Che Guevara, we adore you!

From each according to his ability, to each according
to his needs.

While the taxplate gets passed around, Sheryl Crow
will be singing a song that she wrote!

♪♫ ‘Womyn want Bush out, out of our
womb’ ♫
♫ ‘and sending innocent Iraqis to the tomb’
♫♪
♪♫ ‘He takes away womyn’s right to
choose’ ♫
♫’That’s why we are singing the
blues’♫♪
♪♫ ‘Bush keeps tapping our wires’
♫
♫ ‘The honky house is full of liars’
♫♪
♪♫ ‘worship the lords called Democrats’
♫
♫ ‘and you will be skinny and life would be
phat’ ♫♪

Thank you Sheryl Crow! Don’t you just love the guest
stars who sing? Week in and week out, they simply sing
some of the best music. It’s like preaching to the
choir only choiring to the preachers!

Today we are going to talk about the bible, the great
bible, liberalism. Today’s sermon will be about the
upcoming bible study! Open your bibles to United
States Constitution Art. 1 § 8 and let’s read one
of my favorite passages!

Section 8. The Congress shall have power
to lay and collect taxes, duties, imposts and excises,
to pay the debts and provide for the common defense
and general welfare of the United States; but all
duties, imposts and excises shall be uniform
throughout the United States;

Folks, when the evil Republicans approach you and try
to fill you with the evil spirit of Ronald Reagan,
cite this verse! Memorize it and the evilness of
Republicanism and Capitalism will be driven away.
Nevermind that ’shall be uniform’ thing in there,
you’ll learn more about it in class.

Now look down to just before § 9

To make all laws which shall be necessary
and proper for carrying into execution the foregoing
powers, and all other powers vested by this
Constitution in the government of the United States,
or in any department or officer
thereof.

Now, many of you think that the next thing it says is
“Section 9″ but that is incorrect and you need to pay
extra taxes and the end of this sermon. Those of you
who are enlightened enough will know that there is
some of that invisible text that only we enlightened,
compassionate and caring liberals are allowed to see.
For those of you not liberal enough to see it, please
listen closely, the rest of you please follow along

To make all laws make laws giving womyn a
free abortion and to make abortion as available as
possible. When necessity arises congress can make laws
requiring abortion for any reason it deems
necessary.

Now some of you are seeing more invisible text and
that’s all through the bible. Be proud if you see it
for thou art liberal. I want to send you to the end of
the bible where even more invisible text lies.

Amendment XXVIII (Abortion) - Invisible
text

Congress shall make no law prohibiting womyn from
having an abortion on demand without
apology.

This is a key amendment to the bible and it also

drives conservatives insane! Not as much as the tax
clause in art 1 §8 because for some reason they can
read that, but they can’t read Amendment XXVIII. If
only they were as enlightened as we liberals are.
Before you might not have known where abortion was in
the “constitution” but next time a evil conservative
says something to you about it, you can now proudly
say “Amendment XXVIII!”

Finally Amendment II, please turn to Amendment II.
I’ll give a couple more seconds… okay Amendment II.

A well regulated militia, being necessary
to the security of a free state, the right of the
people to keep and bear arms, shall not be
infringed.

Regulated militia! That means you are regulated to
wear military uniforms akwardly during peace protests.
“being necessary to the security of a free state” -
protests marches are necessary!

“The right of the people to keep and bear arms”-
obviously this means government can not take your arms
off your body. They are yours to keep and you can even
have them hairy like a “Bear” and goverment can not
infringe on your right to be Au naturale!

No where in Amendment II does it say people have a
right to have guns! Did any of you read ‘Guns’ in
there? Republicans are always making things up about
the constitution. They lie about it all the time,
which is why we are starting bible study. We have to
set the record straight!

Let us bow our heads and don’t forget your tax
payment. Holy Spirit Che Guevara. We ask for your
divine guidance and lead this nation into peace.
Bless us with Democratic officials that will only
allow American patriots to lease our ports, own gas
stations, and have American jobs! we ask this in your
name Holy Spirit Che Guevara.

From each according to his abilities, to each
according to his needs.

You may come forward now and seek redemption by
clicking on the link that says St. Jude.

Last
Weeks Sermon (VI)

Please help fight cancer. Join the “Fight On”
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