I’m so glad I don’t get invited to those events that would “require” me to “dress up” in such ways that would make me: CHOKE myself to death. Uugh. Why do people do this? Why have dress codes for certain events and whatnot? Why can’t people just be allowed to be….I don’t know…comfortable? Sometimes I really think people pay way too much attention to the sillier things in life. Like this shit:

The invitation arrives in the mail and after you’ve taken notice of the date, your eye catches the fine print, spelling out the dress code for the event. Do you automatically know what to wear when the party calls for “creative black tie” or do you panic?

When I do get an invite I toss it in the trash. Without reading much.

CASUAL/DRESS CASUAL
W.Could mean jeans or khakis, a skirt, or even a sweatshirt. “She could wear sneakers or flip-flops,” says Hajjar. “But I don’t mean sloppy.” The trick is to pull it off in such a way that it becomes a “look” as opposed to something that looks like you just ran out of the house.

M. The most important thing is the jacket. A man can wear a suit or a shirt with a collar, without a tie. Maybe a nice pair of linen pants or dressier trousers, but never jeans. It should have a dressier feel.

Casual, for me, = jeans and a Tee shirt. And my sneakers.

BUSINESS-CASUAL/BUSINESS
W.A more tailored look that includes a jacket and slacks. Business casual still means business and a woman should always err on the side of conservative dress. “It doesn’t have to be `matchy, matchy,’ but the clothes need to work together,” says Hajjar.

M.“This designation takes you up a notch,” says Abboud. “I’d be leaning more toward a suit.” Guys don’t have to wear the tie to the event, but it’s a good idea to take the tie with you. The key to the look is the shirt collar and a crisp, fresh shirt.

Business casual, for me, = jeans and a scrub top. And my sneakers.

COCKTAIL
W.This is where the hemline length comes into play. “Fabrics should be shinier, more embellished,” says Hajjar. If you’re adding to your suit or work clothes it should be a piece that you wouldn’t wear to work: a bustier or something sleeveless. Change your jewelry, your bag, and your makeup to better reflect that you are going out at night.

M.“Ah, this category creates anxiety and chaos for guys,” says Abboud. “I can’t tell you how many calls I get about this when `cocktail’ is on the invitation.” Guys should darken the colors but not look like they’re dressing for a black tie event. It could be a very trimmed, tailored suit with a fresh white shirt. No khakis or jeans.

Cocktail, for me = jeans and my “fancy” lace trimmed scrub top. And maybe my brown leather boots.

FORMAL/BLACK TIE/CREATIVE BLACK TIE
W.Means long, not short dresses. “I am adamant about that,” says Hajjar, “that’s why it’s called formal.” Pants or pantsuits are acceptable, but they should look like an outfit chosen for the occasion. Women can be more creative — a little funkier, fun, festive. Creative black tie means a woman will have a custom gown made or choose a gown to match the theme.

M.“There was a time when formal meant — say 95 percent of the time — just a tux,” says Abboud. But that’s changed. Traditional formal is a tie and a black coat, but if you wear a bow tie with a traditional tuxedo, make sure it fits you. A vest is OK. It’s best, however, to stay away from red or colored bow ties. “You don’t want to wear a costume,” says Abboud.

Formal anything, for me = my black jeans and a white button down shirt. Buttons open of course….and my black leather boots.

WHITE TIE
W.”Absolutely, unequivocally the woman has to be in a gown. Never pants,” says Hajjar of this rare designation. Gloves also are a must. A woman should have white gloves, even if she doesn’t wear them.

M.Traditionally, “white tie” was a white bow tie and long tails. “But you don’t want to look like Arthur Treacher or Jeeves,” says Abboud. “You don’t want to look archaic.”

Oh go stuff it up your asses. White Tie?? Never heard of such a thing BUT I suppose this would mean me wearing my white jeans and a black button down shirt, buttons down of course, and a little bow tie ’round my neck. Gloves???? The only gloves I own would be my Artic Cat sled gloves- black with green stripes. Hmm. Don’t think it would match my outfit.

I’ve been pressured into attending some of these high end, snobby ass, ego fondling events. And I wear what I want, described above, and it caused some….stares of the shocked variety along with some very audible “Gasps” with the fingers pointing. Hey, what can I say? At least I brushed my hair for these things! I don’t get invited to fancy gatherings often and this is why. I am proud of it too. You have to be who you are and if that means sticking with your own dress code, so be it.