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Relationship Equivalency Exam
Posted by Raven on September 8th, 2006
Oh puleeeeeze. Not another list of lists. See why I don’t want to be involved with anyone? They make it out to be freakin WORK.
Relationship Equivalency Exam for Men
1. English: What does it mean when you say, “I’ll call you?”
2. Math: How many women can you have sex with and still be monogamous?
3. Psychology: Other than abject fear, what are some possible reactions to the words, “I love you?”
4. Economics: Who pays for dinner if your date makes more than you, and how long before you resent her for it?
5. Physics: Find a way to arrange your bathroom items on your half of the sink, knowing full well your girlfriend needs the whole sink for her items.
I don’t know. Here’s what I can see my male friends saying about this:
1) If I liked you, you’ll hear from me. If I don’t like you, you WONT.
2) 100’s (LOL) Seriously, 100’s!! As many as I want.
3) Marriage, children, houses, mortage payments, being home every night, housework…
4) She pays unless I like her.
5) Why would I want to be with someone who needs all that crap???
And now for the women:
Relationship Equivalency Exam for Women
1. English: When you say, “I’m not in a rush to get married,” define the word “rush.”
2. Math: Is the amount of minutes it takes you to evaluate a date as a potential husband more than or equal to the amount of minutes it takes you to identify and ignore the red flags?
3. Psychology: Other than abject fear, what are some possible reactions to the words, “I need space?”
4. Economics: How much should you pay for an apartment you never visit in order to keep a boyfriend from freaking out that you live in his?
5. Physics: Find a way to arrange your bathroom items on your half of the sink while still maintaining the illusion that you wake up looking this good.
I can’t speak for the men- or most women for that matter. I can only speak for myself and…
1) I will RUN if I hear the word marriage!
2) Huh?? GO away nerd.
3) I’m the one who needs space.
4) I’m the one who invites HIM over to my place. None of this going over to HIS place. LOL.
5) What bathroom items? My toothpaste and brush, my comb and a deodorant? I wake up looking like I do all the time.
September 9th, 2006 at 12:50 am
1. English: What does it mean when you say, “I’ll call you?”
It means exactly that. “I will call you.” Men mean what they say. We don’t speak in code. We don’t say WHEN we’ll call you because you may or may not be as important as something else that occurs when you aren’t with us.
2. Math: How many women can you have sex with and still be monogamous?
One at a time. Only one at a time. Otherwise it is a threesome of however many you have in bed at the same time-some.
3. Psychology: Other than abject fear, what are some possible reactions to the words, “I love you?”
Possible reactions to “I love you” include “what does she want now?”, “What has she done wrong?” or “What did I do to deserve this?” Note that these questions are generally dependent upon the length of the relationship in question and in regards to “what did I do to deserve this” in can either mean “How did I get so lucky” or literally “What did I do to deserve this” which is usually followed by thoughts of the foreign legion.
4. Economics: Who pays for dinner if your date makes more than you, and how long before you resent her for it?
She does, no question. IN fact if she makes substantially more than me it is time to let true equality take over and demand your right as a new man to stay home and keep house. If there are no kids involved the free time involved with being a house husband is phenomenal, and once the quick house chores are done most of the day is then free to go see a movie, hang out with your loser friends from highschool, veg on the couch or surf the internet for porn.
Man I miss being a house husband.
5. Physics: Find a way to arrange your bathroom items on your half of the sink, knowing full well your girlfriend needs the whole sink for her items.
I fyou are a bachelor living alone and she brings so much as a toothbrush to the house kick her to the curb….she is trying the old move in one item at a time manuver…..she’s sneaky….and craftier than you are….run while you still have your wallet and balls.
September 9th, 2006 at 4:26 am
LOL Kender..always tells it as it IS.
September 11th, 2006 at 9:30 am
Hehe. If you’ve provided the “correct” answers for the male exam, I guess I fail! :)