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Please call me cheap.
Posted by Raven on October 3rd, 2006
Last week when we were absorbed with helping Kim, my friend Tammy was there, helping out with cooking and taking care of all the little details. She and I haven’t seen each other in a couple months, so we had some time to reconnect. From that, we made a lunch date for yesterday.
I love Tammy: She is a good friend who is light hearted, funny and she gives me endless hours of laughs. We don’t have much in common at all- she lives the GOOD life and has it all and wants more. She is a stay at home kind of person who doesn’t always like to do things. Her idea of a good time is going to the avant and ultra modern spas in Boston. We share common interests in our work, and in politics. Tammy is true Republican. And she’s an excellent person to work with. For all her high drama acts, she is a passionate and loving person.
As we dined yesterday we talked about the weather and how it’s changing- the days are getting shorter and colder. We had ice on our cars Saturday morning. Not frost. ICE. She mentioned her need to switch over her wardrobe and invited me over to help. I almost declined, because I know what this means. BUT I decided it would make a dull afternoon a little more lively and it would give me something to laugh at. So I went over to her place.
Tammy lives in a big house with more rooms than the Library of Congress. She actually has a reading room…and her bedroom is bigger than my entire apartment. It’s huge. She has five walk in closets- 5 – where she keeps all her STUFF. One closet has her hubby’s wardrobe. Another houses her seasonal decorations. Another is home to all her shoes and boots. A smaller closet keeps all her arts and crafts supplies in neat order; and finally the biggest closet is full of– her clothes.
This monster room isn’t really a closet- it’s a room. About 20′ X 20′ it is bigger than my living room. It’s divided into sections that are neatly labeled. We have the Winter section: Rows and rows of fine wool shirts and blazers and pants hang ever so perfectly; drawers full of turtlenecks and other long sleeve shirts- all color coordinated to the T; yet more drawers full of socks- wool, cotton, silk, nylons….she has more socks than I have owned in my entire life.
The other sections are for spring and summer and fall…she wanted to move her FALL clothes near the mahogany and stained glass double doors to this closet. I helped her. She hangs all her stuff on those dainty puffed up smelly coat hangers- and as we moved each item she inspected it for wear and tear. One sweater had a little lint on it. She tossed it out! A shirt was stretched in a away she didn’t like- that too was tossed. All perfectly decent clothes- but not prefect enough for Tammy. She ended up getting rid of three bags of things she didn’t think were GOOD enough. As we weeded out things, we came across yet another set of drawers: Those that organize her jewerly collection. Yes. She has seasonal jewerly as well. Unbelievable.
The shocker was yet to come though. I started to go through another built in set of drawers that were labeled: Undergarments.
Hmm. I stopped and thought to myself:
NO WAY! SHE DOESN’T HAVE SEASONAL underwear, DOES SHE???
Yes. She does. Not just underwear. Bras. Slips. All in fall colors.
I HAD to check out the other season sections- and sure enough- I found drawers full of summer undies, spring bras and winter
slips. WOW. Along with baubles and bangles and earrings and necklaces. And scarves, silky ones. For each season. Let’s not even talk about her makeup drawers…
We spent three hours “switching” over her wardrobe. When we finished, she thanked me with her charm and drama and a bottle of some expensive wine – that I had never heard of. She promised me next time we get together she would educate me on these finer things in life.
No thanks.
She offered to come over to my place to help me get out my “fall” clothes.
Huh? I reminded her that I don’t have a huge walk in closet that is climate controlled, that has piped in music and scents. I have A DRESSER with 6 drawers- and it holds ALL my clothes. I rarely get rid of anything- I have jeans, T shirts, sweaters and scrubs for work. Not much else. Oh yeah- a few pairs of socks and YES, some thongs and a few bras. Tammy owns more underwear than I do clothes.
So, again, no thanks Tammy. I don’t need to move my clothes around so they’re in easier reach. No. I like it simple and plain. I don’t need at this stuff she has to be content. Tammy will rib me on this too, and she often tries to change me. She’ll offer me trips to a salon, a spa, to the fancy shops down in Boston’s ultra hip neighborhoods. I never go with her. That stuff just isn’t me.
It bores me and I feel very out of place.
Tammy is one of those people who defines her very being by what she owns. She surrounds herself with the finer things in life, and she openly competes with her neighbors and some friends to have the BEST. She spends outragious amounts of money on her stuff, and still complains. I just can’t imagine living like this. To spend hours and hours worrying about whether one has the proper colors and materials for this seasons clothing? To toss out clothes that are in really good shape, just because. And to consider what everyone else is wearing?
Tammy wishes she could be like me, she said. “I wish I could just throw on a pair of jeans and a T shirt and sweater and GO…” but “My neighbors would be shocked!” — she says with breathless wonder. Why does she care what others think? This is stupid.
Bullshit. It’s not me and not my style. Call me boring. Call me plain. And please call me cheap- it’s a label I wear with pride. Life is more than the things we own. It’s more than the prestige of having it all…because, everyone I know who has it all has ONE thing missing in their lives: The ability to be real, down to earth people…to have real fun without the conditions and handicaps of worrying about what others might think. To me, life is worthless if you cannot be who you are. If you have to present yourself all made up and dressed to impress.
October 3rd, 2006 at 10:59 am
You know, though, I can empathize with Tammy, even though I’m more on your side of the spectrum. My Mom and my sister are very similar to your firend – and I bet Mom could actually out-Tammy Tammy.
I don’t struggle as much with a fondness for things as my sister and Mom, but I *do* like nice things. I love the silver handed down from my Dad’s sister and collected by Mom just for me. I like the Lenox china sets (2) that Mom’s given me. I like the two pieces of Steuben glass she gave me as well. And I’m looking forward one day to enjoying the Cybis (think Lladro, except FAR better quality) pieces I’ll inherit.
I like jeans and T-shirts, but I like them better when they’re “just right.” I like to travel, but perfer to stay in fairly nice places, and don’t care for tents and car-camping. Just my style, I suppose, but I never cared for “roughing it” on a regular basis (and God help me these days if I’m without Internet, LOLOL!)
I **love** being pampered at the salon! Of course, I keep putting it off and off and off until I tire of being teased by the Munchkin about turning silver, but… And I love massages, and facials, and pedicures and manicures, too – I just keep them for special treats.
I am not sure how much of this is wrapped up in my own self-image, but I do know that it makes me feel cozy and contented and very-much-in-my-own-place, if that makes any sense. Mom did instill an appreciation for good quality surrounding me in my life (why else do you think I’m blessed with the Beloved Husband ;-) ), I simply don’t like it to smother me.
Sometimes I wish I could live as simply as you appear to, Raven… but then, I remember that I AM very cat-like, after all, and we felines do love our creature comforts *giggle*!
Love ya, friend!
– Kat
http://www.CatHouseChat.com
October 3rd, 2006 at 7:17 pm
she said. “I wish I could just throw on a pair of jeans and a T shirt and sweater and GO…”
The older I’ve gotten, the more I hate to dress for success.
I have lots of clothes, mostly gifts or finds from others’ cast-outs. But I find myself wearng the same things over and over. Above all, I like to be comfortable!
Add to that desire for comfort the fact that I hate to shop. I mean HATE!
October 4th, 2006 at 7:14 pm
I’m cheap in the aspect that I don’t spend thousands of dollars on stupid clothes for each season. I look at clothes as an investment. I buy the best I can afford, and for the most part my clothes last a long time. When I buy a pr of jeans, I expect them to last me at least 5 years! LOL. Tammy, no. She buys the latest styles and colors and fabrics…she buys everything to match everything else and literally wastes at least $10,000.00 a yr on…CLOTHES!!!
NO THANKS.
It’s one thing to surround oneself with the finer things in life..it’s quite another to re-define these things every change of season; it’s another thing to truly care and worry (to extremes) about what your friends and neighbors will think of you if you…dress down a little. That is Tammy. She is pathetic.
My jeans…not cheap…last forever. very comfy…very me.
I get a lot of my shirts from TravelSmith
…real comfy…wash, dry and rollup into a tight ball yet never wrinkle..last for years, stain free, even whites never stain. Can’t beat these clothes as far as investment goes.
My favorite shirts though are simple t shirts…white…and irish sweaters. I have many.
I prefer being simple. It might make me a little boring but hey…the time I don’t spend picking and chosing outfits and clothes is time I spend with family and friends. Dressing for success, for me, is easy too: Scrubs. Pretty easy. LOL!!