I think that is the single biggest thing men don’t understand about women – that it is really hard for them to feel sexually turned on when we feel emotionally disconnected. But for many men, it’s hard for them to open up emotionally if they’re feeling rejected sexually.

Somehow we have to come together on this! Some people view the process of coming together as dreaded “work” and shun that because of THAT. Others place more value and consider this to be communication. All depends upon how it’s seen. Men tend to think of it as work.

I really liked your post from this morning about this whole issue BTW- and the comments you have are fascinating…

Communication is the key to success in ALL areas of LIFE. We humans have the ability to think, vet out those thoughts, speak to them, advocate for ourselves and our needs. We need to take advantage of this blessing. Sad that so many don’t though and so many people end up hurt and left dragging.

I think that is the single biggest thing men don’t understand about women – that it is really hard for them to feel sexually turned on when we feel emotionally disconnected. But for many men, it’s hard for them to open up emotionally if they’re feeling rejected sexually. So couples get into this Catch 22. Both sides need to be brave enough to take a little risk if they care about the relationship.

I’ll bet a lot of those men can’t perform because the person they really want to have sex with is their wives. I’ve never really believed men are as crass as some people make them out to be. I think they just don’t understand themselves very well. You don’t risk rejection going to a paid sex worker, but if being closer to your wife was what you really wanted, it doesn’t satisfy.

When men “cheat” and then fall in love I think -but don’t know for sure- if love is a result, it’s meant to be. It’s destiny or fate depending upon how one looks at it. Many people are just not with the special ONE meant for them…mistake marriages happen all the time. Heck my marriage was one big mistake that’s for sure! In my marriage it was ALL about sex and nothing else- the total opposite to the issue I posted here. I wanted and needed more but never got that. A relationship has many factors that keep it alive and hot and burning. I know that communication is one of the biggest factors. Take away any of the important things and the relationship suffers. It eventually dies.

But as to the gist of your point, yes, sharing, comunicating, those are the stabilizing points to a healthy relationship. Great post.