You’re correct about the wealthy older folks who could have insurance- I should have been clearer about it. THEY DO HAVE IT…until that MI or stroke. Then no insurer in the world will cover them, no matter how much cash they have. They are left to depend upon Medicaid- which actually tells them they must admit to a nursing home for “rehab”.

And you’re reasonings for the need for nursing homes are exactly the point I was making in this post: People are not WILLING to make the personal sacrifices to take care of their own parents/grandparents. Everything you mentioned are just excuses. With all due respect, even your MIL is a victim to the thought process of being that BURDEN and you know what, I think it’s morally repulsive that we allow those thoughts to happen and act on them. Since when is it a burden? Since the 1960’s…
everything you say could be true about our kids too. Yet we don’t blink and eye when it’s them.

In my family, my aunts and Mother took care of my Grandmother- who was bed bound for 20 yrs before she died. SHE took care of her mother, who had cancer and lived through 5 yrs of hell. All of my aunts and my Mom made sacrifices- they quit their jobs or rearranged their job schedules to meet this family obligation.

My sister and I did the same thing when my Mother got very sick with cancer. And I fully expect my daughters to look after me when my turn comes…it’s in how you raise your kids; teaching them the value of family and of never deserting them.

There are some situations where an admission to a facility is called for: When an older relative has dementia and are violent- for safety and security a nursing home is probably a better place for them at that time. Just know that the safety and security comes with a huge price- the loss of their dignity and humanity. And do not ever assume that one with dementia is actually safer in such places; YOU are, not the relative though.

I can’t believe that you said that retirees were uninsured due to inability to afford the insurance “Many had MILLIONS saved. They retired and lived the good life for several years; they traveled and explored. They could not afford the health insurance though- so they depended upon some of these savings to get them through medical needs.”

Correction – they COULD have afforded the insurance, but that would have cut into their “fun” retirement stash. It was a choice, and they made the wrong one.

Today’s Boomers are likely to be in worse shape – they had fewer children, and those children are less likely to have a spouse to support them while they take care of Mumsy. It isn’t lack of love, but it’s actual inability to simultaneously:

- work
- care for still-home kids – or grandkids
- provide round-the-clock care
- maintain sanity

My mother-in-law took care of 2 senile old ladies – first her mother-in-law, a woman who HATED her, and was vicious in her comments for 25 years, then her own mother, for about 5 years, until the strain of caring for her terminally ill husband, in addition to a somewhat batty mom almost drove her to the edge.

She made us promise that we WOULDN’T try the same, but would put her in assisted living, then a home. She knew what the true cost was, not in money, but in wear and tear on the soul.