And Rightly So!

The Mommy Makeover. I had some work done when my youngest son was five years old. It was one of the best things I have ever done for myself, although I struggled with the idea and tried, in vain, to correct a self- perceived yet overwhelming “problem” with my post pregnancy body image.

DR. DAVID A. STOKER, a plastic surgeon in Marina Del Rey, Calif., has a surgical cure for the ravages of motherhood. He, like many plastic surgeons nationwide, calls it a “mommy makeover.”
Aimed at mothers, it usually involves a trifecta: a breast lift with or without breast implants, a tummy tuck and some liposuction. The procedures are intended to hoist slackened skin as well as reduce stretch marks and pregnancy fat.

I have four children: Two fully grown mature sons, and two much younger sons. My oldest is 25 years old and my youngest is 10 years old. The older boys were born in 1983 and 1987 respectively and the littler ones 1995 and 1997.

“The severe physical trauma of pregnancy, childbirth and breast-feeding can have profound negative effects that cause women to lose their hourglass figures,” he said. His practice, Marina Plastic Surgery Associates, maintains a Web site, amommymakeover.com, which describes the surgeries required to overhaul a postpregnancy body.

I don’t think it’s a pregnancy itself that takes the toll on a womans body. I think it’s the number of pregnancies- and the time between them for recovery. I also believe that the shape a woman is in prior to getting pregnant has a big impact upon her ability to get “it” back.

“Twenty years ago, a woman did not think she could do something about it and she covered up with discreet clothing,” Dr. Stoker said. “But now women don’t have to go on feeling self-conscious or resentful about their appearance.

I exercised and ate right and got back into shape- so much that most people couldn’t believe I had children. By the time I became pregnant with my youngest son, I had been in the best shape of my life and I was able to participate in marathons and extreme sports. I hiked many mountains and took up roller blading and dancing classes. After he was born, I quickly got my shape back…lost the pounds and joined the gyms and bicycled and bladed my way back to my pre-pregnancy figure. I was doing 1000 sit ups a day; worked out for two hours at the gym and could bench press 2 times my own body weight. I ran 12 miles every day.

But I did have this nasty unrelenting roll of flesh over my tummy. It was like a empty bag- all crumpled up and jelly like. Nothing I did made it go away. It wasn’t flab. It wasn’t fat. It was excess skin and the muscle underneath and it annoyed me and yes, embarrassed me. I could no longer wear belly shirts and form fitting tops. I couldn’t wear my favorite jeans- that roll would hang right out. The roll would be visible unless I wore baggy shirts. To top it all off, this roll had stretch marks on it.

Many women struggle with the impact of aging and pregnancy on their bodies. But the marketing of the “mommy makeover” seeks to pathologize the postpartum body, characterizing pregnancy and childbirth as maladies with disfiguring aftereffects that can be repaired with the help of scalpels and cannulae.

“The message is that, after having children, women’s bodies change for the worse,” said Diana Zuckerman, the president of the National Research Center for Women and Families, a nonprofit group in Washington. If marketing could turn the postpregnancy body “into a socially unacceptable thing, think of how big your audience would be and how many surgeries you could sell them,” she said.

Pregnancy affects each woman differently, with age and genetics playing a role in how the body recovers. While many plastic surgeons argue that pregnancy both “deforms” breasts and redistributes fat so that it becomes difficult to exercise away, some obstetricians disagree.

After 5 years of living with the roll, I decided to do something else about it. My husband was not overly impressed with the idea that his wife wanted “plastic” surgery; he was supportive but ambivalent about it. I never consulted my OB/GYN on this- it wasn’t in his specialty. I did see a plastic surgeon who did recommend the procedure- abdominoplasty- which is a major operation with risks.

There is more pressure on mothers today to look young and sexy than on previous generations, she added. “I don’t think it was an issue for my mother; your husband loved you no matter what,” said Ms. Birkland, who recently remarried.

My decision to have the surgery had nothing to do with looking young. But it did have a lot to do with looking sexy…and it had a lot more to do with feeling sexy. Being in such excellent physical condition also had a lot to do with my thinking: How can someone so healthy and muscular and strong have such a soft and squishy belly?? My body didn’t match my state of health.

“Some women go back to a pretty flat stomach and some don’t, some go back to their pre-baby weight and some don’t,” said Judy Norsigian, the executive director of Our Bodies Ourselves, a health group in Boston, and an author of the book of the same name. “The question is, does that need to be treated with a surgical makeover?”

Our blog hostess Raven was one of lucky women who not only gained her pre-pregnancy shape after each of her children were born, she never had the misfortune of being stretched and having the dreaded roll. Being my best friend, she was upset with me at first, for wanting this surgery. Then she warmed to the idea when she took into her consideration all the hard work I had done to try to get rid of the roll.

I had the surgery 5 years ago- it went fine and the doctor basically cut and tightened the stomach muscles and stitched them back together; trimmed the excess flesh and carefully sewed it on the outside…he also used a laser to smooth out some stretch marks that were left on some of the skin that could not be removed.

I had a very thin and long scar that was noticeable…several months after I had a tattoo drawn over the scar. It’s not noticeable now; and my tummy feels like it did when I was 18. It matches my state of health and strength. I can do my thousand sit ups a day and feel those muscles again. I can wear my favorite jeans and tee shirts and not worry about looking repulsive to my family, friends and others. I can run my 12 miles every day and not feel my roll…bounce…

I didn’t have liposuction. The surgeon did tell me that sometimes they do this during the procedure- if they find excess fat, which they did not. Nor did I opt to have any work done on my breasts- they were fine. There were many Moms in the office who did want breast work and the doctors told them it wasn’t really appropriate to do this until they were certain they were finished having babies. In fact many of the women left without making surgery appointments because they were planning to have more children: These operations aren’t for those who aren’t finished with babies. There were many other people in the office those days before my surgery: Men who had lost large amounts of weight and who had excess flesh; older ladies who wanted yet another eye lift or chin implant or Botox injection.

“Those badges of motherhood have turned into badges of shame and, if you’re the one caught without a tummy tuck, then you won’t get invited to the party,” she wrote. “It peeves me no end that something as drastic as surgery, as this blatant nonacceptance of one’s own body in whatever shape it happens to be in, has become so pervasive.”

I tend to agree with most of this. Women who have been pregnant and given birth are viewed as used commodities. Having babies does change our physique- for better or worse. I didn’t go around telling people I had this done. I didn’t even tell my own mother or my sisters. I missed 2 months of work and didn’t give them an explanation either (just took a leave of absence)…in my circle of family and friends it is a badge of shame to HAVE such procedures done.

The surgery itself wasn’t as drastic or dramatic as some make it out to be. The results were drastic for me though. Having a tummy tuck isn’t really “plastic” surgery- no bags of silicon were implanted; no bits and pieces of soft or hard molded plastic were inserted. Just some nips and tucks. It wasn’t horribly expensive either. The entire event, including the operation, hospital stay and related expenses cost me just over $12,000- none of which was covered by insurance. My husband paid for the operation and he stayed by my side throughout the whole thing. I needed about two months to fully recover- and I was pretty sore for the first three weeks or so. I was able to return to my job (nursing) within 6 weeks of the operation. Eight weeks post op I was back up to 1000 sit ups a day and running, blading, dancing and hiking. The two hour work outs? I cut back to one hour as I didn’t need to focus on my tummy anymore.

I am a much happier woman now. My body’s appearance equals it’s strength and I am no longer ashamed when a shirt rises up. Sometimes we should use modern medical procedures to assist us with looking our best. Is this vain? Maybe. For me it wasn’t about vanity so much as it was about the big picture of what healthy is. I would recommend this procedure for women who are finished having their babies and who have dieted and exercised- but who can’t get rid of the excess flesh over the abdomen. The surgery has some risks, as do all surgeries. The results are almost always excellent and the boost in confidence and self esteem is worth every dime. No one is more unforgiving to their own body than a woman who has birthed 3 or 4 children. We don’t have to live with it anymore, so why do we?