And Rightly So!

This is a response to my critics at SadlyNo, Group NewsBlog and any others who have linked to the post in question.

Last weekend I put up a post that is being used by many lefty blogs as proof that conservatives don’t “care about the troops”. That post was about a man who has been DX with PTSD, who refuses the help being offered him. He lives in an area where help isn’t nearby and he’s obviously very depressed. I have much sympathy for him and his wife. In spite of the comments left for this post, particularly the comment from my friend Kender, I feel a need to clarify my thoughts and defend them.

I stand by what I wrote. I am not a doctor. I am not a registered nurse -and I never claimed to be such. I’m really nobody in the command chain in health care. I am a Licensed Nursing Assistant. I’ve worked in many health care settings for almost 18 years now: nursing homes, veterans centers, hospice, home health care. Currently I work in a rehab center for brain injured children and young adults. Most of my experience is with this population (15 yrs). The lowly position I hold is the front line of the health care work force: Aides see it all, experience much and have the scars to prove it. We are not the highest paid, best educated people in the medical community- but we probably have more insight than all the others combined.

Most of the patients I have worked with have been in auto accidents or overdosed on drugs. A few are victims of previously unknown heart problems- who had acute heart attacks and were oxygen deprived long enough to cause brain cell death and hence a brain injury. One thing they all have in common is post traumatic stress disorders. This DX isn’t limited to war veterans- anyone who survives a trauma is apt to experience it. Girls and women who are rape victims suffer this as well; domestic violence victims also. Victims of personal injury crimes almost always suffer with some form of post traumatic stress disorder.

I don’t question the existence of PTSD; but I do question people, who have suffered trauma, using it as a reason to behave in certain ways. To be clear, this doesn’t mean these people are in control of themselves. Some are rational and others are not. Some seek help because they know something isn’t right with them and others don’t…is it because they don’t see they have problems? I don’t really know. But when they admit they DO have problems, and refuse the help offered, I see them in a different light. I call it exploitation. That may be a negative term, but for lack of another word that means the same thing, I go with that.

In my post that has caused this small uproar, the man, Troy, admitted he has problems. His wife has searched high and low for ways to help him. She has taken him to doctors and medical facilities; he has been tested and absolutely DX with PTSD. He has all the symptoms and he presents as a patient with this illness. Yet when help is offered, he refuses it. He had the opportunity to go to into rehab where he could get the help he desperately needs. He came home on the weekends, and as the article shows- he refused to return. He claims he’s been through “it” before and it didn’t help…and Troy makes the statement that a DOCTOR says he is “faking it”.

I never made that statement. I never even alluded to that. I did gather from the article that Troy doesn’t want help. That he would rather stay at home, in the dark, shutting himself out from the world. I have known patients like Troy. No matter what help is offered, it is refused. In my line of work, a patient has the right to refuse any and all treatment. We have to respect the patient’s rights.

Many of the patients I have worked with had prior problems with depression- before the accidents and drug overdoses. These kids I work with have grown up in tough times. For many various reasons, they were DX with depressive disorders and many even attempted suicide at one time or another in their lives. Another thing I see with many of my patients is extremely dysfunctional families. The dynamics are just sad to say the least.

I did mention my observation that nothing was said about Troy’s prior mental health status. I believe that this is critical information- that would have caused me to better understand his situation. Perhaps I should have been more clear with this?

I am skeptical of Troy’s motivation to get better, not of Troy’s DX.

I said this:

When we enable some people to be the worst they can be, they take advantage and do just that.

And I stand by that statement. Much of this is based upon my own personal experience, which I will share simply because it needs to be known I am a human being, with a heart and a soul and feelings and compassion for others.

When I was 13 a family relative invited me and some friends out Colorado for a summer. His intentions were not at all family friendly though. He was a professional pimp who needed some new girls to make him money. His business was selling young girls to wealthy much older men who paid big bucks for the service. I found myself to be a victim of some of worst things mankind can do…I was beaten and raped; I was held against my will; I became a heroin addict and relied on being a prostitute to fund my habit; regular readers of my site know my history and know where I come from.

I lived that life for 5 years and I know what being depressed is all about. I know what it means to be out of control and out of one’s mind. I tried to kill myself moments after my best friend was shot in her head and I caught her as she came down in my lap…her brains spilling out into my hands. I ended up being in a coma for three months after that suicide attempt. All before I was 18.

I survived. I felt the guilt of being alive. I felt the total shame of doing the things I did. It was a hard battle fought with many setbacks. It wasn’t easy. I had nightmares and I experienced awful episodes of extreme anxiety and stress. I sat in darkened rooms and did nothing but watch cartoons. I suffered post traumatic stress disorder in every sense of it’s meaning. Somehow I managed to find the will to want to live…to get out of that life and move on. And I did just that. I reached out for help and got it. I’ve been a MUCH better person for it and continue to live my life in it’s fullest capacity.

Being in that coma left me with some physical problems too. I live with those consequences every day- but I don’t let it get in the way of my life however. I refuse to allow it to be an excuse for my “behavior” and “choices”. I have a medical “condition” that would excuse those things I could do…but I choose not to. No thanks. I am my own person and I make my own decisions. I accept responsibility for myself.

I firmly believe Troy could reach out as well…his wife is reaching out for him because she loves him. She wants him to get better
and frankly so do I. I don’t wish anyone to go through this awful experience. Life is too short and too precious. I have every ounce of empathy for Troy- I know what he is going through. I also know he could accept the help being offered to him. For whatever reasons, he isn’t taking the offer. He is exploiting his condition and using it at the same time. Is this a crime? No. Is it his fault? I don’t know. I think he could do better. And I want him to do better. I want only the best for him.

I never once said a thing about our troops not deserving medical care. I never once said I thought they should have to pay for this care either. I believe they deserve MUCH better than what they are getting; I have written here many times how I feel the government is screwing wounded troops over in this area. I think the government should hand over the care to private facilities that are closer to the homes of the wounded AND of course the feds should pay for it ALL. For as long as it’s needed.

I hold our military in the highest regard. They who put their lives on the line, for us and for those who cannot fight for their freedoms. No one, NO ONE will ever get more respect from me than our Marines and soldiers. When they are wounded, I hold them to the same value. A Marine without his legs is still a Marine; a soldier without his arm is still a solider. And they are still human beings who deserve love and respect and admiration. A wounded solider who has PTSD will always hold a special place in my heart- and I only wish I had said that in the other post. The causes are very different but I do believe I know what they are going through. I guess I figure that if I can climb out of the bowels of hell, so can they…and that is where my thoughts about Troy were coming from. I have faith that he can accept the help. I really do.

I closed comments out the other day because I was at work- I work weekends and Mondays- and there was no way I could stay on top of them all. My shift is 16 hours each day.

I post this simply because I am a little appalled that my post is being used as proof that conservatives don’t support the troops…that is as far from the truth as one can get. I realize that most won’t read this all, and will walk away with what they call more ammunition for their positions. So be it. I can only offer an apology to the Marines and soldiers who might have been offended; I can only offer an explanation of where I come from. Take this for what it is.