And Rightly So!

After reading the latest excrement that the AP is hoisting up from the outhouse and dumping onto national media, breathless narratives that Gov. Palin’s husband was arrested for a DUI in 1986 and now shocking! news that Gov. Palin had once received a citation for fishing without a license, I felt a deep movement in my bowels revealing to me the AP wire story that will finally force Gov. Palin out of the running for VP. Here goes…

[Headline]

Bedroom Secrets of the Palin family exposed

[Text]

A criminal indictment is expected to soon be handed down against Gov. Sarah Palin and her husband, following dispatch of a SWAT team that swooped down on her house and discovered a tag missing from the mattress in their bedroom upon which was allegedly imprinted Do not remove under penalty of law.

A second count of conspiracy to conceal evidence was expected to be added to the charges as the investigators were unable to locate the missing tag, although they did find a few silk fibers in a wastebasket that police sources stated appears to match the kind of material composing such mattress tags. FBI laboratory experts have been called in for assistance.

The felonious couple were handcuffed and taken to the local police station for booking, where they are being held without bail as potential flight risks and a danger to the public order. This blatant criminal conduct threatens to be the “mote in the eye” that will force Palin to withdraw her nomination for Vice President, as the McCain team debates the imagery of filming her next series of campaign speeches from a jail cell.

Commentaries from Democratic analysts and fellow-travellers in the media are not available at this time due to a massive outbreak of log-in-eye disease that has unexpectedly broken out. Logging crews have been dispatched to treat this obvious Republican dirty trick.